TIP TALK - (to ensure prompt service)

A lifetime ago I worked in a small kitschy diner in a small dull town. I worked during the day with ladies who were career waitresses, they were older and could serve tables in their sleep. Deb, Patti, and Cyndi, I called them the truck stop waitresses behind their backs. Most of them exhibited the truck stop look: leathery tanned skin, gobs of tacky gold jewelry, a deep smokers voice, big aqua net hair, and Virginia Slim cigarettes - which they called "mokes". Anyway, I worked with all of them on different days of the week. We were brilliant with the all you can eat blue plate breakfast specials. We had attitude, sass, and we were really fucking good at what we did.

We had one particular regular that we would fight over, anytime he came in it was a mad dash to get to his table first. He was obviously a well put together guy and seemed successful. He always liked what was on the menu yet tweaked every single item to the way he liked. Normally we would not put up with this behavior with snapping "no substitutions EVER"! This guy was different because he tipped very, very well... hence why we all practically killed each other to get to his table. I found out through talking to him that he was a stock broker and super successful. One day he came in and I was the lucky one to get his table. (It was a cheap move on my part while Deb was out for a "moke".. but hey fair game in the end) The topic of travel came up and my successful regular talked on and on about how work forces him to travel and this and that and how hard it was on him. He said that a great thing about all the travel was that he racked up a ton of frequent flyer miles yet he was so busy he couldn't use them and they were going to be obsolete by the years end. (personally, I've never had this problem, nor have my friends) By the end of his meal he offered me the best tip that I have ever received - Two free plane tickets anywhere in the U.S.. NO! I'm not bullshitting you. It was one of the most unbelievable things that has ever happened to me as a person and a server. I had a great trip with first class treatment, I just wish I would've been smart enough to realize that Hawaii was part of the US (nah...).

I bet you can imagine how pissed off Deb was.

This can never be topped - So don't even try. I have had other amazing tips but nothing like this.

Don't forget to tip your servers!!