Wednesday, October 10, 2012

It's okay... I work in the industry. (SO WHAT?)

If you hear: "I work in the industry" from a customer... BE WARNED! This is typically not something you want to hear. Eight out of ten times this means you will be fucked out of a well deserved tip and treated like shit. I still haven't figured out this phenomena but over the many years of serving the masses I've taken notice of this reoccurring behavior.

Example:

It was a dark, stormy, and busy night in the restaurant. I pass by a two top of a young looking couple with hopeful kind eyes. "I'll be right with you" I say as I bustle by quickly. I finally get to the table and exclaim my apologies "thanks for being so patient, it's been super busy". The patient bubbly looking patron responds "I TOTALLY get it! I work in the industry". I nod at her with a smile and in my head am thinking FUCK!!!! Why am I thinking FUCK when she seems like such a nice girl? People that work in the industry and have tenure don't proclaim that they work in the industry. This is usually coming from someone who is new to industry or a barista. They think now that they've worked with the general public they can "relate" I walk away from the table with the false hope that this table might be different than all past "industry workers". After the awkward proclamation of their supposed industry status they start with subtle requests that eventually turn into pure annoyance (imagine trying to take a nap naked on sand paper on a hot day). "Um.. hey.. can I get a side of ranch? But just when you get a chance because I totally understand how it is". One minute later... "Um.. the ranch"??? Most competent and aware folks would realize that if you order it from the kitchen it takes more than a minute. It's at this point that the reality that some things never change and that working in the "industry" must be hard. I deliver the ranch and the girl starts small talk about the "industry". I try and make passive aggressive comments about annoying needy customers and she acknowledges it's annoying with another request and a promise to tip really, really well. When someone promises they will tip you well that translates directly into = I will tip you like SHIT... this is because I'm a demanding full of shit liar face. She has demand after demand and every time I walk past the table or check in, a new demand or request falls out of her mouth. When I finally drop the check and get an empty promise that I will be hooked up at whatever place she currently works, which she doesn't mention or I don't know of, or I simply don't care about. After the couple leaves I collect my 5 percent tip and silently curse the mirage of "the industry".

Enough said? Do you get the idea?

For all you kids that refer to yourself as working in the "industry"- please stop! Stop saying that, stop being a jerk, and learn how to fucking tip properly. Oh and another thing.. you sound like a fucking idiot when you say that. Do us all a favor and stay home.

Most people that actually do well as servers, know food, and how the "industry" really works. We typically know each other and don't have to preach it around town like we won some sorta badge of fucking honor. Guess what? we also tip well because we realize that is someones income.

No - you don't work in the industry!