You know what nightmares are made of? People coming into to eat 5 minutes before closing time. What...the....fuck.... is wrong with you people. Don't you know that you're the most despised people of the whole night? Who does that? Really, who does that?
The worst is when it becomes obvious that we have been closed for a long time and you remain camped out at your table chatting the night away. No, no.. it's cool.. I don't want to leave or have a life outside of my job. And yes... of course you're super special, just like the manners your mommy supposedly taught you.
Oh look! they're closing in 5 minutes, hurry let's get a quick bite. "Just want to let you know we close in 5 minutes" states the disgruntled server. "Oh we know, we won't keep you long. We'll be super fast" replies the annoying customer. That phrase basically means they will stay longer than most people and will not pick up on the blatantly obvious clues by the entire restaurant staff. (don't forget that we're the jerks here and not them)
I'm still trying to figure out this horrid self centered phenomena and behavior.
What's worse than this is the regulars who come in right at closing time or even after closing time. They assume that since they are regulars they have some sort of magical privilege or right. You are awful and NOT my friend! I get paid to be nice to you by the way. These people should be coined as "leeches" and not regulars. They will suck the happiness right out of a room and then marvel in the thought that they are awesome and "friends" with everyone. These people often figure out a way to get free stuff by coming in that late. "I don't want to be in the way or anything but can I be in your way and ask for things". BAD FORM!!!! Trust me, you will know if you're my friend and I want you to hang out.
I know I sounds harsh but come on. Where we're you the entire night? Why did you decide to meet up with 20 of your friends at 11pm to grab a "quick bite"? And are you so self involved that you don't care if you are the most loathed presence of the night. AND.. another fact is that you will get the worst service EVER. Sound fun??
Please, please, please consider getting your food "to go" next time. We will love you, treat you nice, and even smile as you leave with your "to go" food.